10/8/08

Cover Story a.k.a My Apologies to Robert Forster

Welcome everyone to day 3 of the MonsterCon roundup. Today's film is one I purchased just because I love Robert Forster. I see his name on something , and I'm in. I knew plenty about Robert, but William Wallace is a hard son of a bitch to look up. Sure I found him on IMDB, but while trying to track down information on this film, I came up time and time again with Mel Gibson and Braveheart. I wish I had been watching Gibson's epic of Scottish freedom instead of this terror. Seems William Wallace, the actor, has made a career out of some small numeric roles. He's played such characters as Beverly Hills Cop #2, Medic #1, and Agent #2. These are the shining examples of his IMDB profile. So when Wallace produced his own film in 1993, he got a chance to take the lead role. He finally got a chance for his....

Cover Story (1993) starring William Wallace, Tuesday Knight, Robert Forster, Ram Luv, Leland Orser. Directed by Greg Smith.

The film begins with Matt (Wallace) telling his miserable story to a therapist (Robert Forster). Seems Matt's had some hard times. A few years back he and his wife were responsible for killing their kid when they were backing out of the driveway. Since then they have both been wracked with guilt, but after a night of steamy sex, his wife can't take it anymore and shoots herself in the head. Matt moves out of his home and into a new apartment to get away from the bad memories. He also throws himself back into work as a freelance journalist covering Anthony (Ram Luv) a former crack dealer turned aspiring rap artist. When Matt tries to track Anthony down in a black pool hall, he manages to get every gun in the place pointed at him before the rapper saves him.

Matt is leading a dismal life. He hangs around in his place all day dressed in jeans, a vest, and no shirt. He looks something like a rejected member of Color Me Badd. When he starts receiving sex mail for the former occupant, Rene Templeton, he becomes intrigued in her life. It begins to consume him and he doesn't even register the advances of his neighbor, the mousy brunette Tracy (Tuesday Knight). A shady "building inspector" makes his way into Matt's place, but the intrepid reporter soon discovers the man is not what he seems when he opens a package sent to Rene and finds pictures of the man with her in it. They have a tussle when Matt confronts him, and they end up having a Rubber Mallet vs. Fireplace Poker battle.

Matt asks around everywhere he can for info on Rene. He even approaches his landlord, and he is given a videotape that was found of Rene detailing her kinky sex life. Anthony has another tip when Matt shows him the pictures he had received which leads him down to what appears to be Little Goth-town. At one club, he finally gets some answers. He learns from the gay club owner, Julian (Leland Orser) that Rene used to work there and was killed in a plane crash. She also owed Julian a lot of money. One of Anthony's friends warns Matt that Julian is not all he seems. He runs the gay mafia.

That's right...the gay mafia.

Soon Matt is dodging enforcers sent by the Gay Capo to take him out. One of the enforcers wears a striped blue and white shirt and a pea coat which makes him look something of a Sea Man. Matt is also dealing with the ever growing advances of Tracy, and there's even a strangely comic moment when Tracy and Matt make Tracy over as Rene so Matt will like her better. Soon the enforcers are following him everywhere, and the sailor thug takes a shot at Tracy. Matt wrestles the gun away from the man and shoots him. The sailor dies on the city street with a plaintive whine of "Who's going to feed my cat?" Soon the ending rolls in and secrets are revealed, and no one is who they seem. I won't spoil anything, but if you do happen to watch this prepare for a unintentional laugh near the end involving a paper name tag.

This movie has so many problems that it's really hard to count. Over the first hour I felt like I was watching the worst episode of Red Shoes Diaries ever. The problems begin with actor/producer William Wallace. Wallace is a terrible actor, and it's easy to see what he's relegated to numeric roles. It's always fun to see Nightmare on Elm Street 4's Tuesday Knight, but she disappoints as well. I will have to say that Leland Orser and his gang of gay thugs were excellent. They were not played for pure stereotype which would be the pitfall of having a gay mafia in your film. The actor I feel worst for is Robert Forster. This movie came out four years before his comeback in Jackie Brown, and it sadly illustrates how far his star had fallen. The plot itself is full of twists, but no real surprises. The only real true "surprise" in the end is so lame and pedantic that it actually manages to make the film worse. This is one to miss folks, unless you want to see a exercise in bad cinema, or have a undying need to see Tuesday Knight's breasts.

Bug Rating

There's no trailer for this one so I'll leave you with a cover song instead. Enjoy The Flaming Lips and their cover of Elvis' Suspicious Minds








2 comments:

  1. Ummmmmm, yeah, I think that I'll pass on this one - thanks for sharing! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good Call Bonebreaker. I'll never get this time back.

    ReplyDelete

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