Fright Night 2011: You Can't Run From Evil Once It's Playing in All the Theaters
Let me start right at the top, and by the top I mean the director’s chair. Many people have good things to say about Craig Gillespie because he started off his career with the creepy/cute feature Lars and the Real Girl. I thought this film was alright, but I’ve seen similar fare done better elsewhere. Gillespie threw out whatever indie darling cred he might have garnered immediately by turning around and making the inane Mr. Woodcock starring Billy Bob Thornton in the crassly titular role. If you’ve never seen the film, think about how terrible you think it would be, go find a brick, and smash yourself in the knee. If your knee still hurts more than how bad the film might scar your soul, then you didn’t think nearly bad enough.
Many people (my wife included) would say that his next project, directing the majority of Showtime’s The United States of Tara, would prove a return to form. The brainchild of Diablo Cody, that maven of the most unbelievable dialog this side of Tarantino-land, stars Toni Colette as does Fright Night, but more on her in a moment. Gillespie has directed fourteen out of the show’s 36 episodes so far, and I can guarantee you I’ve seen most of them, and no, I don’t care for it. Now what really ties all these projects together is not a single one of them sounds like preparation for remaking a beloved 80’s horror classic. This is the point where I could probably dig up a quote from Gillespie about how he’s always loved this movie or he respects the original, but it would smack of Hollywood bull crap and just make me want to punch him in the throat (as if I didn’t already).
Halloween Top 13:2010 for proof. This year, as I turn the Presidentially appropriate age of 35, I find the first issue I can really get behind. If we really want to solve the nation’s debt problem, threaten to export this film around the globe. The UN will be clamoring to pay a Dr. Evil size ransom for that kind of world strife not to ensue. Oh and Fright Night, you can still fuck yourself. Thanks. End of rant.